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Knowing what you want is the key to online dating success. Are you looking for hook-ups and fun, or are you searching for The One? When you’ve figured it out, it’s crucial that you make sure the people you’re dating know as well, as it could save a lot of potential heartache. Here’s how to be honest about your dating goals…

Figure out what you want before you start

You might be excited about getting online, but it’s important to have your goals in place before you meet anyone. If you’re unsure, talk to a friend as they can be a sounding board and reflect your thoughts and feeling back to you. You’ll have an easier and more successful time if you have your goals figured out first.

make it clear on your profile

You don’t need to be too explicit, but make it obvious what you’re looking for before people message you. Looking for something serious? Write it down? Just here for fun? Say so. Communicating your needs and wants is crucial in all relationships, so you might as well start now.

discuss it on your first date

Make sure they are clear about what you’re looking for before you get past the point where they might be catching feelings for you. Mention it in your messages and bring it up on your first date. Being coy about something so important is just going to create problems down the line.

Don’t worry about their response

Don’t avoid being honest because you’re worried they won’t want to meet up with you. Be straightforward and respectful about where you see things going. And it works both ways: if you’re looking for something longterm and they’ve made it clear they’re just dating casually, tell them they’re not the person for you. It could save you some angst at a later date.

don’t change your plans for them

If you’re looking for fun and someone tries to convince you into a serious relationship, or vice versa, take a step back and be really honest with yourself. Is this person right for you? If not, break it off, as leading either yourself or them down the garden path is likely to end in heartbreak. Tell them firmly but kindly that it’s not going to work out, and look for someone who is genuinely in line with your desires.